There are times in life when things can get tough.
We can lose a job or a family member. An investment can go down the tube or we can get in an accident that can affect us physically. We never know when we can fall on hard times.
This happened to me in 2010. My wife and I decided mutually to seperate and I lost my marriage and a beautful rural property that I’d spent many years building up. A good friend of mine gave me a room in his house to stay in for a while. I began a new relationship and then moved into a smaller rental house with other roomates. It was rough because I was country boy, used to a lot of land and trees and a river flowing by.
Then less than a year later I had a blood vessel rupture in my head and I couldn’t work. I almost died. Even though I was in a wonderful new relationship I felt like everything else in my life had fallen apart.
My doctor ordered me not to do too much until my brain healed and I ended staying in bed a lot being depressed. I had no stable income, I didn’t know if I’d be able to do the work I loved and I worried a lot. I cursed God for letting me have a taste of my life purpose and yanking it away. I couldn’t even yell and scream at God because it would hurt my head. (LOL). That made me even more pissed. It was hard on my partner.
Maybe you have been there or know someone who has.
Here’s what I did. Maybe if you ever encounter a lot of instability in your life this might help.
The first thing I did is: I accepted my situation. I noticed that no amount of not wanting things to be the way they were, changed anything. Cursing God and all his angels and being angry at my life only made me feel worse.
Stable Points
Then I decided to create some stable points within the instability I felt helpless to change. I set-up a routine. I got up at a certain time, set my meal-times and an afternoon rest. I started my day with a bit of stretching, meditation, jounaling, a bath and shaving. I set up a time for a short walk. I set up some regular appointments with holistic therapists. I created a routine before bed. I cooked and ate good food. I signed-up at a gym and started to go 3 times a week.
I noticed the people in my life that could give me stable support: my doctor, my family and friends and the love of my partner.
After a few months of a good routine things started to shift for me as I started to have a greater sense of being in control. I felt a bit more secure. My brain was healing and I felt like getting a part time job just to see if I could work again. I ended up getting a job at Home Depot in the tool rental department.
Even though it was minimum wage I felt good that I could at least do something. I’d have a vague sense of satisfication putting on my steel-toed working boots and heading off to work. I remember smiling at the opportunity to be a regular Joe. I was feeling more in control of my life.
Then it occurred to me that maybe, this disaster needed to happen because I needed time to finish my book. So I began setting up another routine time of writing during the day. Over the next few months, I wrote a major portion of Awakening the Guru in You. Setting up that structured time got the writing juices to flow and I started to feel my life coming back.
The Turn Around
Then something remarkable happened. Employees at Home Depot started coming up to me and without prompting started telling their problems in private during breaks between customers. I used some of my Clearing techniques to counsel them and I started to become known as a “great guy to talk to”. I realized that I could not escape from being a helper. It was in my nature to be that way.
I looked at this as a sign from the universe. Maybe my life as a helper was not over. Maybe I was ready to go back to work giving retreats and doing my coaching and mentorship. So I began to take on some clients and organize some one day retreats again. This started to grow and within two months I quit Home Depot and got back to doing the work I loved with a finished published book in my hands. I still had some brain impairment but I was significantly healed.
Why do I tell this story?
Well I am hoping that if you ever get to a point, where your life falls apart that maybe this story might inspire you, to find and create some stable points in your life… to know that no matter how insecure life gets that there are always areas of life that we can establish as stable, whether its people, routines or situations.
And as we set these up, we can find refuge in them. These can then provide a conduit for new energy and creativity to enter into our lives as the old things we depended on, fall away and a birthing of a renewed life can arise. Even when we lose control and things fall apart, there are always areas in our life that we can stabilize. These can then become the foundation for building a new home for our dreams.
Be you to fullness
Russell Scott
If you like this article you might also like:
How to Accept the Unacceptable in Your Life
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Caught Between a Rock and a Soft Place
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Why I Don’t Recommend a Sub-Arachnoid Hemmorhage